True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)
The original: This song comes from the great Sara Bareilles, featured on her 2007 major label debut album Little Voice as well as performed with her a cappella group at UCLA prior (how cool is that?). Read more about the song on Wikipedia or watch the official vid on YouTube. If you don’t already know the original, I highly recommend checking it out as a correlate to this true cover! My version makes sense in the context of Sara’s.
Dedication: This song became important to me in the fall of 2015, when I began to reckon with the energy of the Wounded Mother as it related to me personally and as I saw it in the world. I grew up in conservative Christianity and in the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy; in these contexts, the mother may be celebrated as a healing presence, but she also becomes the dumping ground for whatever “shadow” energy/emotion/experience those around her don’t want to encounter. Sara Bareilles wrote this song about her first major heartbreak (what sounds like an emotionally coercive relationship) … for me, this song captured the way I have felt toward my own precious mama at times and how I have felt “held down” sometimes by my physical body (so now we’re getting into the Mother Earth/Divine Feminine wound).
Over the past few months, a new version of this song - a song for healing the mother wound - has been gradually unfolding in me. Last week, I sang it for a group of soul sisters (and one soul brother!) at my SoulCollage® Facilitator Training. Huge thanks to Dr. Isabel Phillips, our trainer; Genesis Spiritual Life & Conference Center, our cocoon; Eileen West, who recorded/edited/compressed this video; and to all my soul companions, in particular my community at Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center, where I learn every day that healing is possible and it doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.
I dedicate this to all of us as we engage in healing and in defending every mother, our Mother Earth, and every kind of body. This is a time of great gravity for our nation and for our shared Home.
The rewrite:
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone
You heal me with a touch
You seek me without claim
I never wanted anything so much than to drink in your sun
And dance in your rain
Set me free, help me be,
And I might lay here for a while in your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and not over me
Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
And you taught me to be strong
If we linger for a little while
We might both see a new dawn
I am free, you see me
Everything we do is held within a perfect gravity
Here I am, heart in hand
So true, and it’s all in thanks to you
You’re holding me and releasing me
You know I’ve tried to please but you don’t need that from me
You only want to see me keep my feet on the ground
We’re neither friends nor foes, though we might need to let things go
The one thing that I sure know is that you won’t keep me down
Oooo…
You won’t let me down
You’re holding me, holding me, and releasing me
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
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